Collection : : Jokes

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Q: Why do computer scientists always confuse Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT(al) = 25 DEC(imal).

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate nine.

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A mathematician, a physicist and a chemist are watching an empty house. About ten minutes to their watch, they see two people go inside the house. All three of them write it down, and continue watching, when at their surprise, ten more minutes later, three people are seen leaving the house.The biologist then says, "Well, there was probably someone inside and we didn't know about it".The physicist replies, "No, no, it is a common mistake of measurement".The mathematician looks at them both and states, "If one man were to enter the house now, it would be empty!".

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The Evolution of Math Teaching
1960s: A peasant sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price. What is his profit?

1970s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price, that is, $8. What is his profit?

1970s (new math): A farmer exchanges a set P of potatoes with set M of money. The cardinality of the set M is equal to 10, and each element of M is worth $1. Draw ten big dots representing the elements of M. The set C of production costs is composed of two big dots less than the set M. Represent C as a subset of M and give the answer to the question: What is the cardinality of the set of profits?

1980s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His production costs are $8, and his profit is $2. Underline the word "potatoes" and discuss with your classmates.

1990s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His or her production costs are 0.80 of his or her revenue. On your calculator, graph revenue vs. costs. Run the POTATO program to determine the profit. Discuss the result with students in your group. Write a brief essay that analyzes this example in the real world of economics.

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How they prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime?

Mathematician: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, and by induction - every odd integer higher than 2 is a prime.

Professor: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and the rest are left as an exercise for the student.

Physicist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is a prime,...

Engineer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime, 11 is a prime,...

Programmer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 7 is a prime,...

Salesperson: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- we'll do for you the best we can,...

Computer Software Salesperson: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 will be prime in the next release,...

Biologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- results have not arrived yet,...

Advertiser: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 11 is a prime,...

Lawyer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- there is not enough evidence to prove that it is not a prime,...

Accountant: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, deducing 10% tax and 5% other obligations.

Statistician: Let's try several randomly chosen numbers: 17 is a prime, 23 is a prime, 11 is a prime...

Computational linguist: 3 is an odd prime, 5 is an odd prime, 7 is an odd prime, 9 is a very odd prime,...

Psychologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime but tries to suppress it,...

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Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic math. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question; all she has to do is answer, "One third x cubed." She agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself. The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks, "What is the integral of x squared?" The waitress says, "One third x cubed." Then, while walking away, she turns back and says, "Plus a constant!"

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A driver was clocked by radar as having 252 km/h, and made the following appeal:

Mr. President,

Indeed, I saw the sign of circulation "70" written in black on white background and framed in a red circle on a panel,but no other indication of units of measure.
As you know, the Law of 4 July 1837 requires compulsory to France the metric system, while Decree no. 65-501 3, May 1961, modified according to European directives, defines as the fundamental legal system units International System(S.I.). The units in the system S.I.,unit of length is meter and the unit measure of time is second.

It is thus obvious that the unit of the speed is meter per second.

I can not imagine a moment that the Interior Ministry would not apply Laws of the Republic.

Therefore, 70 meters per second correspond exactly to 252 km / hour.

Police have said that I was clocked 250 km / h, something I do not deny it. I was, therefore, with 2 km / h below authorized speed limit.

Please note my return the driving license.

And he won!