Source1
Q: Why do computer scientists always confuse Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT(al) = 25 DEC(imal).
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Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate nine.
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A mathematician, a physicist and a chemist are watching an empty house. About ten minutes to their watch, they see two people go inside the house. All three of them write it down, and continue watching, when at their surprise, ten more minutes later, three people are seen leaving the house.The biologist then says, "Well, there was probably someone inside and we didn't know about it".The physicist replies, "No, no, it is a common mistake of measurement".The mathematician looks at them both and states, "If one man were to enter the house now, it would be empty!".
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The Evolution of Math Teaching
1960s: A peasant sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price. What is his profit?
1970s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price, that is, $8. What is his profit?
1970s (new math): A farmer exchanges a set P of potatoes with set M of money. The cardinality of the set M is equal to 10, and each element of M is worth $1. Draw ten big dots representing the elements of M. The set C of production costs is composed of two big dots less than the set M. Represent C as a subset of M and give the answer to the question: What is the cardinality of the set of profits?
1980s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His production costs are $8, and his profit is $2. Underline the word "potatoes" and discuss with your classmates.
1990s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His or her production costs are 0.80 of his or her revenue. On your calculator, graph revenue vs. costs. Run the POTATO program to determine the profit. Discuss the result with students in your group. Write a brief essay that analyzes this example in the real world of economics.
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How they prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime?
Mathematician: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, and by induction - every odd integer higher than 2 is a prime.
Professor: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and the rest are left as an exercise for the student.
Physicist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is a prime,...
Engineer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime, 11 is a prime,...
Programmer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 7 is a prime,...
Salesperson: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- we'll do for you the best we can,...
Computer Software Salesperson: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 will be prime in the next release,...
Biologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- results have not arrived yet,...
Advertiser: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 11 is a prime,...
Lawyer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- there is not enough evidence to prove that it is not a prime,...
Accountant: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, deducing 10% tax and 5% other obligations.
Statistician: Let's try several randomly chosen numbers: 17 is a prime, 23 is a prime, 11 is a prime...
Computational linguist: 3 is an odd prime, 5 is an odd prime, 7 is an odd prime, 9 is a very odd prime,...
Psychologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime but tries to suppress it,...
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Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic math. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question; all she has to do is answer, "One third x cubed." She agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself. The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks, "What is the integral of x squared?" The waitress says, "One third x cubed." Then, while walking away, she turns back and says, "Plus a constant!"
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A driver was clocked by radar as having 252 km/h, and made the following appeal:
Mr. President,
Indeed, I saw the sign of circulation "70" written in black on white background and framed in a red circle on a panel,but no other indication of units of measure.
As you know, the Law of 4 July 1837 requires compulsory to France the metric system, while Decree no. 65-501 3, May 1961, modified according to European directives, defines as the fundamental legal system units International System(S.I.). The units in the system S.I.,unit of length is meter and the unit measure of time is second.
It is thus obvious that the unit of the speed is meter per second.
I can not imagine a moment that the Interior Ministry would not apply Laws of the Republic.
Therefore, 70 meters per second correspond exactly to 252 km / hour.
Police have said that I was clocked 250 km / h, something I do not deny it. I was, therefore, with 2 km / h below authorized speed limit.
Please note my return the driving license.
And he won!
Ahad, 6 Disember 2009
Itulah bahasa
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.
Source
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Tajuk Sajak: HOK SENGHOTI (yang sebenar)
Laaren tok serupo dengen suroh
Hok come bakpo ppakat dok kato udoh
Saye soh doh laeng dengen beci
Jerok mamen tok srupo dengen jerok celagi
(Larang tidak serupa dengan suruh)
(yang cantik mengapa semua orang kata hodoh)
sayang memang sudah sah lain dari benci)
(Jerok maman tidak serupa dengan jerok buah celagi)
Takot ado keno mengeno dengen ketha gega
Srupo dugha ada ssabit dengen lapa
Ngiga sbenarnyo adik beradik dengen kemama
Selok takdok bezzo dengen tok kaba
(takut ada kena mengena dengan keketaran)
(serupa rasa mual ada kaitan dengan rasa lapar)
(mengigau sebanarnya adik beradik dengan kebingungan)
(pengsan tiada beza dengan tidak sedar)
Sapo kato buloh tu galoh
Sapo kato ttekeng tu tok bkkekoh
Naka laeng sikit dengen jahat
Dawa pong oghe ppakat dok pange khawak
(siapa kata buluh itu galah)
(siapa kata tengking itu tidak bertelagah)
(nakal lain sikit dari jahat)
(dawai pun semua orang sebut kerawat)
Kalu tugo tok srupo tughus paga
Sengotilah tolo tok srupo dengen panda
Lagu mano gadoh, belah tu jugoklah lorghat
Tok soh la wak loloq tok kena hok mano ddakak
Hok mano kkhabak
(kalau tunggul tak serupa turus pagar)
(benarlah tolol tak serupa dengan pandai)
(bagaimana bergegas, macam itu juga lah nak cepat)
(tak usahlah buat-buat tak kenal yang mana peluk)
(yang mana rangkul)
Demem tok keboh bezza dengen leloh
Senyung semeweh tok srupo dengen sengeh
Bbaling tu laen dengen kipah anging
Breng abe sikit jaa pado kerah keng
(demam tak kebah berbeza dengan penyakit lelah)
(senyum meleret tidak serupa dengan tersengih)
(kipas kecil mainan budak itu lain dari kipas angin)
(maco abang lebih sedikit saja dari keras menengking)
Kito tok leh wak tok tetu kalu
Oghe serabuk nggeleh kito tok tahu
Kito dok ghalek berembah bbadi cah keting
Oghe laeng gi serhus-serhah
Kito dok ppakat reboh tguleng
(kita tidak boleh buat tidak tentu arah)
(orang sangat berserabut sedangkan kita tidak tahu)
(kita asyik bercakaran, saling jatuh menjatuhi)
(orang lain pergi dengan lancar ke hadapan)
(sedangkan kita semua rebah terguling)
Ulak kekek jangen wi ttuka dengen ulak belecah
Jale bejeket jangen kato srupo dengen hungga derah
Kalu kkarak buleh lagi kito tteri
Hok gelonggong lagu mano ppakat kato tokleh nok isi?
(ulat kekek jangan bagi bertukar dengan ulat belencas)
(jalan berjengket jangan dikata serupa dengan berlari laju)
(kalau berkarat, kita masih boleh peteri)
(yang gelonggong macamana pula dikata tidak boleh di isi? )
Payoh senghoti nok bekecek nok bbkiro
Culah lagu laeng tok srupo dengen celiko
Payoh jugok nok bezzo mano lakonen mano sendiwaro
Hok senghotinyo, manih lleting tu belung tetu ibu gulo!
(susah sungguh nak bercakap, nak berkira)
(licik itu lain, dan tak serupa dengan leka)
(Payah juga nak membezakan mana lakonan dan yang mana sandiwara)
(sesungguhnya, yang teramat manis itu belum tentu ibu gula)
Source
To have a clear view of the translation in proper malay language, just highlight the text.
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.
Source
----------------------------------------------------------
Tajuk Sajak: HOK SENGHOTI (yang sebenar)
Laaren tok serupo dengen suroh
Hok come bakpo ppakat dok kato udoh
Saye soh doh laeng dengen beci
Jerok mamen tok srupo dengen jerok celagi
(Larang tidak serupa dengan suruh)
(yang cantik mengapa semua orang kata hodoh)
sayang memang sudah sah lain dari benci)
(Jerok maman tidak serupa dengan jerok buah celagi)
Takot ado keno mengeno dengen ketha gega
Srupo dugha ada ssabit dengen lapa
Ngiga sbenarnyo adik beradik dengen kemama
Selok takdok bezzo dengen tok kaba
(takut ada kena mengena dengan keketaran)
(serupa rasa mual ada kaitan dengan rasa lapar)
(mengigau sebanarnya adik beradik dengan kebingungan)
(pengsan tiada beza dengan tidak sedar)
Sapo kato buloh tu galoh
Sapo kato ttekeng tu tok bkkekoh
Naka laeng sikit dengen jahat
Dawa pong oghe ppakat dok pange khawak
(siapa kata buluh itu galah)
(siapa kata tengking itu tidak bertelagah)
(nakal lain sikit dari jahat)
(dawai pun semua orang sebut kerawat)
Kalu tugo tok srupo tughus paga
Sengotilah tolo tok srupo dengen panda
Lagu mano gadoh, belah tu jugoklah lorghat
Tok soh la wak loloq tok kena hok mano ddakak
Hok mano kkhabak
(kalau tunggul tak serupa turus pagar)
(benarlah tolol tak serupa dengan pandai)
(bagaimana bergegas, macam itu juga lah nak cepat)
(tak usahlah buat-buat tak kenal yang mana peluk)
(yang mana rangkul)
Demem tok keboh bezza dengen leloh
Senyung semeweh tok srupo dengen sengeh
Bbaling tu laen dengen kipah anging
Breng abe sikit jaa pado kerah keng
(demam tak kebah berbeza dengan penyakit lelah)
(senyum meleret tidak serupa dengan tersengih)
(kipas kecil mainan budak itu lain dari kipas angin)
(maco abang lebih sedikit saja dari keras menengking)
Kito tok leh wak tok tetu kalu
Oghe serabuk nggeleh kito tok tahu
Kito dok ghalek berembah bbadi cah keting
Oghe laeng gi serhus-serhah
Kito dok ppakat reboh tguleng
(kita tidak boleh buat tidak tentu arah)
(orang sangat berserabut sedangkan kita tidak tahu)
(kita asyik bercakaran, saling jatuh menjatuhi)
(orang lain pergi dengan lancar ke hadapan)
(sedangkan kita semua rebah terguling)
Ulak kekek jangen wi ttuka dengen ulak belecah
Jale bejeket jangen kato srupo dengen hungga derah
Kalu kkarak buleh lagi kito tteri
Hok gelonggong lagu mano ppakat kato tokleh nok isi?
(ulat kekek jangan bagi bertukar dengan ulat belencas)
(jalan berjengket jangan dikata serupa dengan berlari laju)
(kalau berkarat, kita masih boleh peteri)
(yang gelonggong macamana pula dikata tidak boleh di isi? )
Payoh senghoti nok bekecek nok bbkiro
Culah lagu laeng tok srupo dengen celiko
Payoh jugok nok bezzo mano lakonen mano sendiwaro
Hok senghotinyo, manih lleting tu belung tetu ibu gulo!
(susah sungguh nak bercakap, nak berkira)
(licik itu lain, dan tak serupa dengan leka)
(Payah juga nak membezakan mana lakonan dan yang mana sandiwara)
(sesungguhnya, yang teramat manis itu belum tentu ibu gula)
Source
To have a clear view of the translation in proper malay language, just highlight the text.
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